Surviving False Allegations & Childhood Abuse

I lack formal qualifications, but real wisdom often comes from lived experience rather than books. As someone who's walked this painful road, I created this site to help others suffering as I once did. I'm genuine—Google or Grok me. Darren Ingall, Guildford UK. The BBC radio soundbite about my childhood abuse in Berrow Wood School and did it leave a deep scar for a number of years! I did get past it eventually and my abuser died in jail :-).

Just scroll down and click "Agree" if you'd like to continue (site contains graphic accounts of abuse and false allegations—only proceed if appropriate).

My Background

Early trauma shapes us deeply—chemical associations form in the brain young and are hard to change. I endured serious abuse as a child in the 1980s at Berrow Wood School (a state-placed institution): physical, emotional, and sexual abuse by staff. Six staff were jailed (later nine, including my abuser Barry Desmond Newton Hastings, who died in prison). Another twelve remain under investigation (per BBC reports). Complaints from parents (including three formal letters and calls from mine) were ignored; authorities shifted blame, claiming the school was technically a private school.

As a parent, I moved house (costing £50k) for better school opportunities for my children. At George Abbot School (Guildford, ~2007–8), my son's special needs teacher reacted to his file with: “Oh shit, he’s only level 2—we’ll lose him next year” and a tantrum. Multiple requests (five to school, one to social worker) for a simple phone call to someone who knew him well were refused over two months during minor issues that were escalating. CAMHS (who never met him) suggested foster care. Meanwhile, I discovered my wife's affair. It was time to do something, something different. The stress led to hospitalization. External intervention and documentation (including covert recordings.) My approaching the prior school head and employing for my child a qualified child psychologist helped resolve things; my children are now approaching their 30's and thriving after mum walked out on the family via text message. She lost everything in the divorce.

As many as 1 in 20 people have experienced serious childhood abuse. Many survivors hide it due to shame or fear. Systems can fail children—by closing ranks, assuming guilt, or prioritizing reputation over truth (as in my childhood institution and later family case). Maybe read my book linked on the next page 'Life after child abuse.' Or listen to a few of my covert recordings?

This website is the permanent successor to content previously published on diedinjail.co.uk, lifeafterchildabuse.com, gastheapology.co.uk, mrhastings.com, and whykidscry.com. Site last updated: March 2026

Read how I dealt with being falsely accused of abusing my 11-year-old son at your own risk. How dare they accuse me of abusing my son when they refused 6 requests in the prior 2 months to make a simple phonecall to a proffessional who knew him or even the feeder school.
CAMHS were according to the social worker suggesting fostercare and they had not even met him! This site contains graphic accounts of abuse and false allegations — continue only if appropriate.

NO ads, No spyware, no cookies, no infernal popups, a bit 1980's in design but no tracking, no adwords, and I don't want your personal information
or credit card number either. I'm pretty genuine and just here in the hope I can help others.

"If your abused or falsely accused, you are not alone. These pages contain my story and what I have learned. I hope they help at least someone not suffer as I once did." Darren Ingall 2026

Question for Mr Starmer

Supporting Child Victims, Survivors & Abuse Prevention

I’ve been there, I feel for you buddy, You are not alone. Despite what you might think or have been told as many as 1 in 20 have experienced serious childhood abuse. They range from people like me who turn and face it head on, publish a website, write a book, do the BBC interview and stand up and face the world with my truth. “It can’t be a child’s fault can it, if they have been led into making mistakes when led by an adult authority figure?” to others who bottle it up , fear many adults and believe all adults are the same. I was once one of the latter ashamed, frightened I would not be heard let alone believed but that was before childline. Listed below are a few useful links, if your here this is a start to hopefully a better place and I wish you all the best in finding help.

Reminder: This is not a substitute for professional help. If a child is in immediate danger, contact emergency services or the NSPCC/Childline right away. Early intervention saves lives and prevents long-term harm—for victims and families alike.



The Paedophile who died in jail

For me, what happened started nearly 30 years earlier. I was just 12 years old when I was thrown into a borstal that was not just harsh—it was abusive. Within a year of my escape, six staff members were jailed. That number later rose to nine when the man Barry (Desmond Newton) Hastings from Margate, picture below who sexually abused me was finally convicted. He died two years later in prison. According to the BBC, another twelve people remain under investigation today.

This is what they did to children in the pre-1990s. They locked us away in institutions and handed us over to abusers. And they knew exactly what was happening. Reports were made. Letters of complaint were sent. My parents wrote three formal letters and made numerous phone calls, all of which were blanked. Children and parents spoke out repeatedly. The evidence was there at the time—not discovered decades later.

When concerns were raised, the authorities tried to wash their hands of responsibility, claiming Berrow Wood School was technically a private institution. In reality, children were placed there by public authorities, who retained full responsibility for their welfare. Responsibility was shifted and excuses were made while abuse continued.

This wasn’t ignorance. It was neglect. It was a conscious refusal to act, hidden behind paperwork and bureaucratic definitions.

One day, that child grows up. As I did. You begin to understand what was done to you and how completely you were failed. Many survivors try to bury it just to survive. But memories don’t stay buried. Under the right circumstances, they return and take over every waking thought. That’s when the damage they caused becomes impossible to ignore.

The evidence is there—see the linked evidence page above. And the compensation? £5,000. An insult. A clear message about how little abused children are worth once the system is forced to admit fault. Reading between the lines, the same authorities that failed in their duty of care now claim they don’t have the funds to compensate the victims of their own neglect.

They had the power to place children there.
They had the authority to intervene.
They now deny responsibility for the outcome.

Children were sent there by the state. Responsibility does not vanish because accountability is inconvenient.

missing, funny that


The way things were for me as a child:

I’m not sharing this for sympathy. I’m sharing it to show what happened and to help others understand the reality of being a vulnerable child.

When I was 12 (1972), I was accused of something I didn’t do by the school head at Bushy Hill School, near Guildford, Miss Wood. To this day I believe it was engineered, a way to get rid of a child. I reacted after my pleading and denial were dismissed as any child would, with a child’s tantrum, ok it was a good tantrum but I was only 12 years old and had been falsely accused of damaging a school piano. At that age, I had no way to defend myself or be heard. It was not like today but being the child of a single parent in the early 70's really put a child at a disadvantage. It was that simple.

Six months later, I found myself in a residential boarding school, 'Berrow Wood School' near Gloucester. The environment was highly abusive, fear was constant, and children were treated cruelly. During my time there, I along with most of the other children experienced abuse. Physical, emotional and sexual that left lasting scars. age 15 I found myself in bed with a paedophile 'Barry Desmond Newton Hastings' while he not for the first time tried to do the unthinkable. I was so ashamed by what I felt I had allowed to happen so I kept quiet for years.

Very few staff felt trustworthy. One or two teachers made me feel safe, but even then I had no real support or protection. I learned quickly that speaking up could make things worse. Mr Morris the school head was one of many staff who would routinely punch children who caused a fuss. Then there was grade 5 (the punishment grade) you could manipulate a child into anything to stay out of the punishment grade and digging those infernal holes on a Saturday. likened by my shrink as digging your own grave. They damaged so many children, not just me, 100's of them! And the authorities, they ignored the complaints and looked the other way.

I ran away and returned home. I carried overwhelming shame — not only for what had happened, but for the part I thought I had played in it. My family tried repeatedly to get help, but their efforts were dismissed. I could not bring myself to explain the full truth. 3 letters and a number of phone calls and the only response from the authorities was a demand they sent me back. I did not even get an audience with a social worker and missed all my childhood examinations.

By 15, with only a few months left before the end of school, my stepfather helped me find work. That marked the beginning of my adult life: working with no qualifications, shaped by a deep mistrust of authority, adult men over 20 and cautious of anyone whose behaviour felt wrong or unsafe.

Those experiences left a permanent mark, shaping how I viewed the world and how I learned to protect myself and later my own children.


Introduction

Having a child who requires more support than others is not unusual. Every child develops differently, learns in their own way, and has individual needs. In the past, children who were considered “difficult” (Took time) were often institutionalized, a practice that exposed many to abuse. Today, children with unique learning or developmental needs may be diagnosed as autistic or having other differences. Regardless of labels, few charged with supporting them have the necessary understanding, expertise or inclination to provide their services with reasonable care and skill.

When my eldest son turned eleven, I had nearly paid off my mortgage. Wanting the best for my children — and driven by my own history of abuse in a state-funded boarding school — I took out another mortgage and moved house so my children could attend what was promoted as one of the best schools in Guildford. Although my wife was hesitant, I felt it was my duty to provide the best opportunities for my children, prioritizing their future.

The first comment from my son’s special needs teacher at George Abbot School was, “Oh shit, he’s only level 2 — we’ll lose him next year.” It was not so much what was said but the tantrum that went with it. This marked the beginning of a series of challenges that included my own mental health struggles, my wife’s affair, her leaving the family via text message, and false accusations of abuse against me.



Media:

For official coverage, you can view the BBC News article as a PDF:

Download BBC Article (PDF)

Another lad who maybe had it worse than me.

Download BBC Article (PDF)

This site is a personal testimony and warning by me Darren Ingall, detailing my life experiences with childhood institutional abuse and later family/school crises, aimed at educating parents, teachers, and social workers about systemic failures, the need for vigilance, documentation, and fierce advocacy for children.



Crisis & School

Now just to make things clear this part of the site refers to my experiences with George Abbot School in Guildford (Head: Danny Maloney, Senco: Pipa Morris in 2007-8 I know little about how it is run today and have at no time spoken to the current head. The social worker I refer to was Judith Murphy from Guildford childrens social care team.

Think about it, a teachers be it special needs, a regular teacher, or school head is their first concern the children in the school or the school and its reputation or maybe just an easy life at the cost of the children they are supposed to serve. Thats where an abuse victim will tell you they trust their vibes brought about by the actions and body language of others far more than anything said. A child has issues, a child we are being paid a lot of extra money to support. do we (a) work with the parents and help the child? or (b) call in the social workers, blank the parents, wash our hands of everything and get on with something else easier? They will blame workload but that is rubbish, its all about somebodys character and this woman Pipa Morris gave me real bad vibes the day I met her.

Things started months earlier before our son started George Abbot School in Guildford. Our son had an education statement and special needs. Nothing major, he just needed a bit more time. So we are in this meeting in the prior school. I'm on high alert saying nothing just watching for anything out of place. Then I saw it, and heard it. A woman having a proper tantrum reading over a file. It struck me as odd she was totally on her own away from everybody else. "Oh, Shit he is only level two, we'll lose him next year." It was not so much what was said but the tantrum that went with it. It really came across as what am I bothering coming out here for this. Talk about bad vibes. Then I learnt she was our sons new special needs teacher and to just set things in stone she had the same surname as one of my childhood abusers. My wife pretended not to notice but you would have to be deaf and blind not to have seen or heard it. Funny that, you see it was 6 weeks later by her own words she (my wife) making it pretty obvious started an affair with her elderly boss at work. You see the affair is where my own mental problems started and my wife was taking no interest in our childs problems to the point in the teachers log they wrote: 'Mother seems disinterested' she was by now running for the hills. You see my own childhood issues started with my parents divorce and my own father who was not to be seen again. Knowing that pain I would never repeat it. It was not until I turned 21 I met him again. I could see history repeating itself all over again only this time at the cost of my own children. I was stupid and tried to live with the affair thinking once the school issues were sorted she would snap out of it.

The crisis escalated when my son’s special needs teacher (Pipa Morris) repeatedly refused to make a simple phone call to his scout leader for guidance after a few problems. Problems I felt were engineered — five requests over two months went unanswered. "We think this might not be the correct school for your son" was spat out by a year head during a meeting about nothing, another woman who just gave me bad vibes. No eye contact just a statement out of the blue. On my fifth request the response was, from the special needs teacher “That’s not our job. Speak to the social worker — there has been an abuse allegation” as she tried to walk away like she had something better to do. I thought then and I still think to this day it was a simple script designed to get rid of a child who might use up school resources, ie take time they were being paid a lot of extra money to provide. Money they used for a classroom assistant, not a my son assistant. I liken that to when a thief in a block of flats hotwires an electric meter and has their neighbours pay their electric, you know only during peak hours. With all this extra funding and this extra member of staff they could not even set him any homework. Quote from a year head, "Children in the lower sets don't get homework." Not my son has special needs and should be supported, No! children in the lower sets don't get homework, end of discussion. Eventually I set him homework myself and when I took a folder of it into a school meeting, a year head told me, "It looks like a different child." Nothing furthur from the school even when I told them I had funding for external teaching staff out of school to help him. seriously I might as well have been talking to a wall.

Social workers, my advice (assuming its leagle where you live because sometimes its not!) is to covertly record every meeting with them, they like everybody else in the world can make mistakes and when its your word against theirs your word is worth nothing. While often well-intentioned they, can act as administrators rather than caregivers. Don't ever expect them to put their hands up and admit to any wrongdoing or answer for their mistakes. They tell you their files are off limits to a parent. confidential to your child, handy that you see the flip side of that is a parent can't prove or expose their mistakes. My own childhood experiences at Berrow Wood School, where staff were later jailed for abuse, underscored the importance of vigilance, accountability, and if things go west, proof, recordings, letters etc.

This is where the shit really hit the fan:

I had made by now no less than 6 requests of anybody in authority, the school and the social worker they forced onto the family under a threat of exclusion for anybody to contact the childs scout leader for advice. Refused by all of them! One day I was going to tell my story to the world but I still had another child to go through this school yet so I was silenced for a few years.

Then I found that I later descovered was an instruction from a social worker who had not even met the child the number for childline 08001111 written in the childs school diary. It was like we can't be bothered to make a simple phonecall to somebody who knows what he is doing but you can call childline. He was so proud when he showed me. "Hey, look at this dad!"

I went back to the school, to my only point of contact, Miss Morris the SENCO. "Has anybody contaced his scout leader yet?" My fifth request in 2 months. The reply, "Thats not our job, speak to the social worker (who had already refused) there has been an abuse allegation." When I confronted the social worker with this she replied with. "Nothing to worry about, dad is a bit strict but done him no harm."

Then there was the "Ill jump off the roof incident." Apparently an older (unnamed) student, handy that reported to staff that my son had told him that he was 'pissed off' and was going up to the roof to jump. This I believe to this day was absolute fiction. My son simply said to me, clearly surprised "how could I get on th roof without a ladder?." I'll never prove it and I could be wrong but I put this to the authorities Here

Well of course the school reported this to the social worker. The next meeting the social worker is looking at me like I'm a piece of dirt as she tells me CAMHS who have not even met anyone are suggesting my son should be in foster care. That for me was it, my blood pressure went through the roof and to anybody looking at me it was obvious the next stop was the hospital. 6 customers in one day phoned my employer with concerns about this member of staff who was clearly on the edge. Well you can read and hear that in the SENCO tab above.

Eventually, competent professionals, including external mental health specialists I employed and prior school staff I contacted, intervened, preventing further harm. Obtaining school and social service records revealed inconsistencies and omissions, which I addressed through covert recordings and persistent advocacy to protect my child.⚠️ Recording laws vary by country and situation. Always check local law before doing this. There was little I could do about things other than to produce this website in the hope it might help someone else.

I challenged the authorities to get a court order to prevent its publication, you know like if anything written was a lie. see Here


Things I Experienced Trying to Get a SENCO to Make a simple Phone Call

Child protection matters. But systems must also protect the innocent. This site focuses on what happens when that balance fails.

Yes these professionals drove me to a nervous breakdown with their false allegations and talk of taking my son into care just to get anybody in authority to take 5 minutes to make a phonecall for my son to somebody who knew what they were doing! Despite what the head said in his pre school speech about issues concerning new year 7 students, having more staff in that year and liaising with feeder schools for background nobody contacted the prior school. Make of that what you will but its fact!
🟡 My experience: I felt trapped by false allegations and the bureaucracy of the system. Over several months, I spent a significant amount of money and energy trying to ensure my son received support. In one instance, I realized that simple communication between schools could have resolved some issues months earlier.
🟡 Personal story: I shared personal family details with the school — including sensitive information about my wife — on the advice I had received. This was incredibly stressful and contributed to a nervous breakdown, as well as significant family disruption.
🟨 Reflection / opinion: From my perspective, some professionals acted in ways that felt ineffective or unhelpful. Others were supportive once approached appropriately. My situation was extreme, and I don’t suggest that others replicate these actions without careful consideration and professional guidance.
⚠️ Important note for readers: Everyone’s case is different. Emotional stress, school policies, and child protection systems vary widely. Always seek professional legal or therapeutic advice before taking any action in a child protection matter.I spent £50k moving house for this. The school heads (Danny Maloney's) pre school speech was just a sales pitch full of hot air and fake smiles and he had the cheek to write to me stating 'I'm not quite sure what I would be apologising for." See the correspondents in the last chapter of my book.



🟡 My experience: I was advised to disclose personal family matters to the school. At the last minute, I told them about my wife’s affair — a decision I knew would have serious consequences for my marriage and emotional health. This was extremely stressful and contributed to a nervous breakdown.
🟡 Perception of professionals: I felt that CAMHS, who had not met my child, were making serious recommendations prematurely. From my perspective, a lot of misunderstandings could have been avoided with better communication.
🟡 Coping: During this time, I had to manage my own childhood memories and strong emotions while trying to stay calm.
🟡 Outcome: Two days later I was hospitalized; shortly after, my wife left the family via a text message. This was a deeply personal sequence of events and should not be seen as advice for anyone else.
⚠️ Important note: Every family and child protection situation is different. If you find yourself in a similar scenario, seek professional guidance from legal, educational, and mental health experts before taking any actions.



Lessons Learned

After the divorce and mental health challenges, I rebuilt my life. My children are now grown and thriving. I received recognition for my service to the community in 2025. Key lessons include:



Collaboration between parents, educators, and external advisors is essential. Trusted adults, such as scout leaders, teachers, or family members, often have insights that professionals meeting a child for the first time may lack. A lot of so called professionals will take the easiest option and will not test or qualify the easiest option.



If you suspect your partner is having an affair, try to remain calm. Over 50% of marriages may experience this, according to what I’ve read. 🟡 My experience: I prioritized protecting my children and documenting relevant events. I personally recorded meetings, conversations, and kept copies of teachers’ logs where appropriate. ⚠️ Important: Laws about recording meetings and accessing school records differ by country and region. Always check local regulations and consider seeking legal advice before taking these steps. 🟡 What helped me: Once I had documented evidence, I shared it securely with my solicitor. Presenting facts calmly can support your case, but outcomes vary depending on your situation and the professionals involved. Remember, courts focus on what is best for the children, not personal grievances. Evidence is important, but it should be collected and used responsibly.


Reflections & Advice

Educators and social workers can profoundly impact a child’s life — positively or negatively. Positive examples from my experience include:

However, I also witnessed severe negligence and abuse, emphasizing the importance of accountability and vigilance in child welfare.



Advice for parents and professionals:

Life after child abuse and family crises is possible. With persistence, support, and advocacy, children can thrive, and parents can rebuild their lives. My story aims to educate, inform, and inspire others to prioritize children’s welfare and act with integrity. By that I mean don't just blindly believe anything you are told those in authority. Sometimes they lie, sometimes they make mistakes and sometimes they abuse children. (see BBC interview above.) A smile can be genuine but it can also hide a lot of different things.



Receiving the Mayor’s Award for Service to the Community 2025 was a meaningful recognition of my efforts and the dedication to protecting children. (link above)

Google me, Or do the chatgpt thing on me. My days of living in fear of my childhood memories and experiences or others learning about them have well passed I, whilst I might not be the best Christian in the world have nothing to hide, just a story to tell in the hope it might help others.




Covert recordings

I resisted making covert recordings for a long time. However, based on my past experiences, I came to feel they were the only way to protect, prove and preserve the truth. ⚠️ Recording laws vary by country and situation. Always check local law before doing this. I had previously seen people in positions of authority lie and face no consequences.

As a child — and later as an adult — I felt silenced about what had happened to me. What I experienced seemed so outrageous that I believed no one would accept it as true. Over time, I convinced myself that staying quiet was safer.

The difficulty with that approach was that when things deteriorated, I found myself reliving those experiences. It wasn’t just the memories themselves, but the fear and panic attached to them. I struggled to function properly. Instead of support, it felt as though my wife did not defend me — even when school records suggest she did not challenge allegations that I was becoming angry and physically disciplining our children. I knew where matters could lead, and I felt I had to prepare for that possibility. Then there was the unpaid overtime, like that was not obvious and I had to plan for that too.

I informed them that I was making this recording. Eventually, I found myself in tears in front of the previous headteacher, asking her to listen to it, to share it with my son’s former teacher, and to help me.

By this stage, I was writing to anyone who would listen. I eventually secured a meeting with someone at Surrey Social Care. Rather than receiving an apology, I was told that past procedures were to blame — as though that somehow made what had happened acceptable.


This was his letter in reply, hardly an apology.

After the divorce, my then 11-year-old son followed my example. When he had the opportunity to confront his mother and her new husband, Roger, he recorded the meeting. I was aware it was happening, as his mother had made no contact for months. Her sister arranged the meeting and attended to ensure things did not escalate. Afterwards, my son handed me a memory stick and said, “Here you are, Dad.”



Text messages were sent to various family members implying that I had, at some point, harmed my wife. That is something I would never do — I would never hurt a woman or a child.

The messages did not read like they had been written by my wife. The wording and structure were completely unlike how she normally communicated. Because of that, and given everything that had already happened, I decided to make another covert recording to protect myself.

I was not well at the time; however, the recording conveyed what needed to be said and proved effective during the divorce proceedings. When she — or her solicitor — made threats of raising false allegations in what appeared to be an attempt to gain leverage, I responded by documenting everything and ensuring my solicitor was fully informed. I even created an additional webpage compiling the relevant information for legal reference.

After that, she withdrew from regular involvement and, from that point on, saw the children only once or twice a year. I tried to get her more involved but she simply was not interested. Her sister then took over being the mother figure in their lives. As for me it will have to be a real special woman before I ever trust again.

The next head

I genuinely felt sympathy for the next two school leaders I dealt with. By this time, my youngest son had finished school, and I was writing to everyone — including the Prime Minister. At one point, I even put a letter to him on YouTube.

In my mind, if you are forced into a fight and cannot walk away — which is always preferable — then you take your case to the very top and pursue it fully using names.

My youngest son, who is exceptionally bright, spoke very positively about his teacher during a meeting. The strongest criticism he could offer was that the teacher was “a stickler for the rules, but a really nice guy.” The headteacher present struck me as someone with a genuinely caring, almost maternal quality. I don't know why she would but the current head will not communicate with me.

Many survivors of abuse say they develop a strong instinct for reading people — sensing their character beyond just their words. I have found that to be true. This headteacher seemed to understand that, and she was direct and honest with me but clearly was not authorisied to make a full written apology. That said her heart was clearly in the right place.




Evidence

This section is the website is as it was written when I was in a very bad place.



You have a child who is maybe a little more work than your typical child. its no big deal we are all unique and we all learn different things at different times and indifferent ways. In my day they called a child who was a little more work 'maladjusted' and locked them away in institutions then punished or by today's standards abused them. An unregulated feeding ground for paedophiles and child abusers. Today they call children who are a little more work autistic but either way by my experience few charged with looking after them generally have a clue. Even today sometimes you meet school staff and social workers not with an attitude of 'what can I do to help' but more of an attitude 'how can I wash my hands of this and make it somebody else's problem.' Now most parents want to do the best they can shall I say afford to do for their children. I mean in the longer term it helps few children their parents getting into debt bringing them up as eventually debt will catch up with you and it helps nobody.

So when my eldest son was 11 years old I having as good as paid off the mortgage took out a new mortgage in order to move house and get our children into what was sold to me as one of the best schools in Guildford. This was important to me as the local secondary school had at the time a very bad reputation. I knew my wife was not really on board but after my own childhood where I was sexually abused in a state funded boarding school giving our children the best chance affordable was my duty you might say before God. Honestly for me that was the purpose of life.

You kind of know you have made a mistake when the first thing you hear from your sons special needs schoolteacher as he starts secondary school is her having a proper tantrum stating "Oh shit he is only level 2 we'll lose him next year." I mean I kind of expected a few problems after that but I did not expect me to get seriously mentally ill, my wife to have an affair, walk out on the family with a text message and for me to be falsely accused of child abuse. You see as time went on with my sons special needs teachers refusal to make this simple phonecall for him to somebody who knew what they were doing things kind of sent me over the edge. Then along with my wifes whole indifference to everything and my own childhood memories getting in the way I kind of lost the plot when I twigged the wifes affair. A special needs teacher who despite 5 clear and polite requests over 2 months refused to make a simple phone call for the lad. Its a shame things put me in hospital with a mental breakdown but the shit had to hit the fan eventually. According to George abbot school the statement "that's not our job speak to the social worker, there has been an abuse allegation" as the teacher tried to walk away on my 5th request was not a direct false abuse allegation directed at me. To quote his (the school heads) letter in reply to my complaint the school had been working 'tirelessly' with my son since the day he started. (see the last chapter in my book below.) or just listen to the 30 minute recording with the next school head at the bottom of the page

missing, funny that

By my experience social workers are a nightmare keeping secrets and telling lies, they told my mother 'berrow wood (boarding) school' would be beneficial for me when I was a child. 6 of the 13 staff who ran it were eventually jailed for child abuse the year after I ran away missing all my childhood examination never to return. Eventually 9 were jailed, one man for 27 years. According to the BBC there are another 12 former staff under investigation. In the real world whilst they, social workers might be nice enough people they are just book keepers and take no responsibility for their actions or recommendations. Oh we have a department for this, another organization for that but ask us to contact anybody not on our approved list for help and advice, that's against policy like showing you our files about your child. I had an MP help me with that. Look at the grief I had to go through just to have them take notice of my complaint"

I wont suggest for one minute they or my sons school file or teachers log was altered before I got to see everything. It made them (George Abbot School, my sons school) jump when I put my phone on the table, pressed record, did the below and took it to the prior school head. "help me they have not got a clue what they are doing, they have been pushing buttons and now found one that hurts. Please play this DVD (my recording) to his prior teacher and help me, they are talking about taking him into care." Did this head jump! I'm sure she had a soft spot for my son. When she retired years later my sons prior teacher became head of that school.

I took my son to see a kiddy shrink (you might say distant relative working in a different county.) Whatever He (my son) had said or done at school had in the space of 2 weeks taken the social worker from "I'm going to close the case" into a false child abuse allegation directed at me. This sent my wife running for the hills. You see according to the social worker CAMHS who had not even met the lad had suggested to the social worker my son should be in care. 20 minutes after meting my son. The shrink, "They have got the wrong idea and run with it, Ill have a chat with my boss and take it on as a case." He knew I was sexually abused in Berrow Wood School when I was a child and his advice was to "Open up and tell the school everything." Well I knew that would send my wife running but it was a simple choice, 1 try and save the marriage or 2 try and help my son. No contest! In the mean time our younger son has told me in the only way an 8 year old can about mums affair. I nearly blurted it out in the recording made at school below. Looking back I so wish I had.

You try facing a group of strangers in a school meeting and telling them you are a child abuse victim sexually abused by a housemaster in boarding school. I was so frightened I had to read from a script. How could I ever explain it happened more than once before I ran away? I reasoned others would assume that made it my idea. If I ever told anybody would they assume as some do that the abused will become an abuser? And I knew they were clueless and looking for a problem that did not exist until they created it leading my son into saying anything that made him the center of attention.



A year head, nice lady came up to me, gave me a hug and told me it was a good job I spoke up when I did. I still ended up in the mental hospital and it took getting on for 10 years to get past it. My employer, Graham was great, found, paid for and arranged for counseling for me for like 3 months. (best thing anybody has ever done for me) My wife, she walked out with a text message emptying the bank account. I now had 2 very disturbed children, no money, a fulltime job, a mortgage to pay, only £278 to my name and had to explain to my children that mum was not coming back. Now when your as ill as I was that was very hard. My soon to be ex sister in law kind of took over being mum to the children from then to this day and she helped me no end just chatting things through as my wife was not to be seen or heard from in months. My children needed to face her (mum) on their terms and get answers and bless her my soon to be ex. sister in law made it happen. Well, the boyfriend led the conversation and I think my son did very well in being polite and standing up to him! I knew nothing about the below until my son (at the time age 12) handed me a memory stick.


The key bit in the above recording is. "A few years ago, what I was willing to do. Nobody hears that." They do now Roger (top man!) tells you how long the affair was going on for.

Well Mr Maloney the then head of George abbot school started doing some back peddling now ' We never made a child abuse allegation, not us' this totally dismissing the fact over 2 months I had made 5 requests of the school to contact my only support, my sons scout leader for advice. A grown man with kids of his own. And lets not forget the school were being paid a lot of extra money to support my son with his education statement.

The social workers rather than apologising for refusing to make this phone call just replied with 'The social worker has confirmed that at no time did she agree to contact a scout leader.' No mention of the fact she took a letter and the number from me. They really could not give a shit, social workers head office, read the letter and make up your own mind. (last chapter in my book below) I did not see it at the time but staff at George abbot school kind of jumped to sort things out, within 3 or 4 days the social workers had written to me explaining they had closed their case, CAMHS a week later. Mind you, that might have had something to do with the prior school head and teacher who like the lads scout leader were great. Now I wanted a copy of the school file and teachers log. I got them eventually 2 letters and reminders. I wont suggest they were altered before I received them but as you might expect I found some anomalies and made a big deal out of them. As for the social workers, they did not even file my letter. They really don't like a parent nosing through one of their files and they refused me a copy of it. This was my child, I was legally responsible for him, his only guardian and I wanted to know what had been going on that I had been falsely accused of abuse! The child started the school in September and it all kicked of in November, So its a dd/mm/yyyy and not mm/dd/yyyy and in May.

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Now I'm not suggesting for one minute this file was altered after the fact or additional entries were made (No it was just a typo?) just ask yourself why there is a month between the date of the entry and the action for this urgent issue? If it was as they state an 'urgent issue' why would they refuse to make a phonecall for the child? If it was a simple typo how could something that happened after school be dealt with at 8.45 on the same day? And why does the same entry appear to be entered twice and only one making reference to my wanting feedback re calling my sons scout leader for support? (no it was not added after the event was it?) I mean they wrote it down like that was all they had to do and then just got on with something else. You might understand why after their 3rd refusal to make this simple phonecall for my son I had real bad vibes and started covertly recording meetings in this school. Vibes, natures way of warning you something you can't see is obviously wrong! I'll tell you some breeds of dog are really good at sensing bad vibes and I've been around dogs all my life. You can learn a lot from watching a dog. my parents used to breed and show them.
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Get that, my son was apparently led on by an older student the school guaranteed would be nowhere the year 7 children (for a dare) to expose himself to another student and nobody told me for 4 months until I demanded a copy of the school file. Odd they left that detail out of the report.

I mean I was flying for years and the authorities had to take notice when I started publishing stuff on the internet, writing to them and then asking them for an opinion. I was going to get an apology from someone eventually! Word of advice, never trust anyone who sounds like a salesman / woman people who do sound like salesmen / women pushing their product just give me bad vibes. If a product is any good it will sell itself!

In the mean time I have finally reported my childhood abuser to the police. He died 2 years later after being jailed. Court was so much easier than I thought it might be. The defence try and find dirt on the victim so you have to be pretty white clean to get anywhere. The worst they could find on me was a bad school report. Even the judge was not impressed with the defence bringing that up as he dismissed it as irrelevant. I sometimes wonder if a child friendly thug got hold of him (my abuser). Seemingly others had reported him in the past and the police knew all about him but I was the one who got him put away. Here he is waiting to go into court for sentence knowing he was likely going to die in jail. I had an old schoolfriend who took time out of work supporting me, he had nobody. A far cry from the hardnut ex. SAS soldier he fooled us kids he was when I was a child at Berrow Wood School.

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Well teachers and social workers, the lesson is in 2 parts

1, If a parent asks you to make a phone call as I did say 5 times during a 2 month period to the child's scout movement for advice there probably is a very good reason for it! You see as many as 1 in 5 adults could be hiding from their childhood experiences 1 in 20 from sexual abuse. In the right circumstances it can take over every waking thought when the child grows up. believe me I know!

2, It might cost you and your school a lot less time, effort and money than refusing and falsely accusing the parent of child abuse. You see to quote my sons scout leader "Tell them I want contact with anybody concerned with your son before somebody makes a big mistake." As he said to the head my son "is a very unique individual.' Thats code for he can think for himself, lead people on, play mind games, and question what he is told unlike school staff who are trained to push the panic button, assume a child never exaggerates things or just says what the child thinks they want to hear. A parent will in this case more than likely have a support system in place be it church, the scout movement etc. You might find these people far more qualified than you or a social worker who has just met the child no matter how good you might think your school is!

You might find the parent kicking up a stink if falsely accused of abuse by people unwilling to even make a phonecall for the child. For 1 in 20 it really hurts! They might like I did contact the prior school for help, (something the staff George Abbot School stated they would do in the event of issues with new students. More staff in year 7 just for things just like that apparently.) You might come across a nutter like me who puts everything on a website and fights back! They might like I did contact the social workers boss, the social workers bosses boss, the press, an MP, some shirt high up in government. Hell they might even write to the PM and put that on youtube. They might like I did get a load of DVD's manufactured and send a copy to every school head in Surrey. You might find a dedicated website out there years later produced to maybe help other people in a similar situation. Even a book! It might still be there 20 years later with your school named on it and in the book! If you really make a pigs ear out of things and just blank them you might find the parent of a child covertly recording meetings with you.

"Has anybody contacted my sons scout leader yet?" My 6th request of anybody in authority over 8+ weeks! "That not our job, speak to the social worker, there has been an abuse allegation." Social worker: After taking the letter with the number on it. "No I won't do that somebody in the office will." Oh and (6 weeks later still not having made the phone call) CAMHS (who had not even met the child) are suggesting your son should be in foster care." My question to you as the reader of this site is 'How would you define incompetent'? I mean you can choose what garage you take your car to for its mot but the state chooses your childs social worker. In her defence at least the special needs teacher looked clearly shocked when I repeated that. I never spoke to the social worker again other than to once again give her the number for my sons scout leader. Then from the social workers came a few stories. "we had the wrong phone number or could not get through." Morons! they either had the wrong phone number and they could not get through hardly 'or'! Then they deny all knowledge of the request. I had a vibe such nonsense would be made so I gave the number again to everybody in the school meeting recorded above on an A4 sheet of paper filling 1/2 the page! Then more for my own recovery and to compartmentalize things in my head I wrote the book below.

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Written book here. (5 1/2 MB pdf file)

You might eventually find a story on the BBC.
40 years they knew about this place abusing kids and did nothing!

The BBC News report:


You might have thought that was the end of things and we all were to live happily ever after. No, you see then came the divorce and I knew my wife was good with a story if led on, a bit like our son so I did this prior to the divorce, you know kind of covering as many bases as possible. I was a couple of weeks out of hospital, you might say still pretty mentally ill and these text messages had been sent around the family suggesting I had at some point hurt my wife. Now if you knew me, that's simply not me to hurt a woman or for that matter a child. The language used in these text messages simply did not belong to my then wife. It was not how she spoke or put a sentence together. I saw it straight away. Well I kind of had things covered with another covert recording when I received from her solicitor a letter that amounted to a rape and assault allegation in a cross petition to her adultery we had agreed to divorce on. Well you can think for yourself or you can pay a solicitor to spend your money and I had all these covert recordings so up went a website presentation for my solicitor. Ill bet the other side was not expecting that! 99 times out of 100 I walk away from strife, turn the other cheek but I had at the time a far bigger duty to teach and protect my children. If your put in a corner and forced to defend yourself you might as well go for broke!

I was very ill by now but just covering my back. As you can tell I knew there would eventually be one of her stories.


Not going to disappear, love the kids to bits? a far cry from the 100% sure she wants to give them up for Roger.
She bolted like the rat she is! and I was left to (with a lot of help) to bring up our children on my own working full time. I can tell you my employer Graham made so many allowances for me to help me out.

Well by this time everyone is going to know the whole story and have the opportunity to listen to my recordings and make up their own mind. At the time I was pretty ill as all I could see was my children being abused in care as I was and my being falsely fingered for child abuse. I'm as good as retired now and have a really good relationship with my children. You see my wife lost everything and had to pay my costs too. She is now living in a council bungalow with her not so new husband. You see now our kids are nearly 30 I genuinely hope she is happy because I am! No more fantasies and stories I had to pretend to be interested in.

I got my apolgy from George abbot school eventually and this lady, the next head (stand in head) and her colleague had nothing to do with things that happened years earlier!

Funny this SENCO kind of disappeard soon after this meeting. Seemingly when the next head came in she made some serious changes.

I got in front of some top dog in social services eventually.


This was his letter in reply, hardly an apology.

Well that was published in the hope it might help somebody else. (The best apology you might ever get from the social workers is for them to close their case and do something else.) Of course if you register a website like lifeafterchildabuse.com put your story on it, a book and post a link to like the world and his wife they have to kind of respond. The book was written when I was in a very bad place struggling with childhood not so much memories but the recurring emotions and feelings that go with them. I was at the time 38 but in my head I was a frightened abused 14 year old child in a blind panic trying to save my son from experiencing what I did at the hands of the state. I knew my wife was carrying on with somebody at word and my childhood problems started with divorce and my father Clive running for the hills never to be seen again.

With complements to the many people who have helped my children and me over the years! There have been far to many to list.

There can be a good life after child abuse, here I am (Darren Ingall) receiving the Mayors award for service to the community 2025.

To Linda, my ex. a bit of advice, next time you walk out on a marriage with a text message and a story don't be surprised if your partner has recorded your confession and admission of your fear of being made bankrupt by the divorce. You see your husband might be a bit brighter than you think and have created a conversation where you had to correct him to show you were not just blindly following along.

Divorce is easy money for a solicitor who may given the opportunity lead you into telling stories and charge you for the privilege. Either way they get paid, more if they can drag it out. Honestly do you really think they are working for you or to make money? Some of them are like second hand car dealers who charge more than full price for fitting second hand parts and inventing work to charge more money.

As for teachers, its just luck of the draw. I've met some really good ones in my time. (no really I have!) There was this teacher for example Mr Griffiths. Never touched a child, never raised his voice and just about every child in the school respected the guy. If you played up in this guys class, you found yourself like at odds with nearly all the other students. Then there was Mr Crompton D of E and RE teacher, sold God pretty hard but you could trust him. I've also met for example a school head who would routinely punch and strangle a child (as young as 12) until they pass out and a number of other staff who thought nothing of punhing children. He (the school head) died I'm told 2 weeks after coming out of jail. I sometimes wonder if a prior student got hold of him. You see all us kids in Berrow Wood were in the same boat, physical, emotional and sexual abuse only a lot thanks to the lack of action by the authorities have ever been heard! Is it no wonder I started making covert recordings of meetings in George abbot school when they fed my son to the social workers. I'm sure some of them do their job really well and respect to you if your one of them who do. Some are just like older schoolchildren with no idea other than what a teacher might feed them. For some its just a job and numbers and statistics.

If you have a concern about a parent be straight with them. "We have concerns about your child, do you have anybody in what you might call a professional standing that can vouch for you? like a church leader, scout leader, maybe if the child is new to the area a prior schoolteacher." Hell that is what the then head of George Abbot said would happen in the event of issues with new students in his pre school speech. The parent might say, "Yeh no problem here is a number for our childs step uncle who is a qualified shrink... Have you contacted the feeder school and spoken to his prior teacher? We have had issues before." No its easier to push the panic button or create a reason to push the panic button and give it all to a social worker. Quote from my sons shrink, I employed "this is what they do when they have given up on a child." Well I made them jump!

I gave George Abbot school and the social workers the right of reply in 2011 and again in 2025. listen to the recordings above. Just to make things clear this happened in 2007/8 when I was 38 and the head of George Abbot School was a 'Danny Moloney' and the special needs teacher I had issue with was a 'Pipa Morris.' It is not necessaraly a refelection of the way things work in George Abbot School in Guildford today. The site is simply here left as a lesson for others. As for the social worker who refused to make a simple phonecall for my son her name was a 'Judith Murphy.' My childhood abuser who died in jail was a 'Barry Desmond Newton Hastings.'

These materials demonstrate the importance of proper documentation, accountability, and advocacy in protecting children.




The Book

It might not be for every abuse victim writing a book but it made me feel really good writing this book and sending it to the authorities asking for an opinion. After spending a great deal of my life steering just about any conversations away from anything to do with my childhood it was like turning a light on in a dark room.

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Written book here. (5 1/2 MB pdf file)




The BBC interview

It’s not for every victim of abuse to share their story with family or friends. For me, it was agonizing to even consider telling my elderly mother. But one day, from a hospital bed—after a crisis with my blood pressure over 200, a nurse warning me I shouldn’t be walking, and a bitter argument where someone suggested I must have taken something—I finally let it all out.

The relief was instant, like a 50-kilogram weight being ripped off my chest. For the first time in decades, it was no longer a secret.

My wife chose an easier path with someone else. Even my 8-year-old had worked it out weeks earlier and quietly told me.

After that, I buried my grief in action. I focused on raising my two children alone, working full-time, and keeping life moving forward.

And now, ten years later, I can finally speak publicly. I’ve carried the weight, faced the challenges, and built a life from the pieces they tried to break. I survived. I raised my children. I worked. I endured. And I can speak my truth. Not as a victim, but as someone who refused to be defined by what happened.




Award from the Mayor of GUILDFORD

This is me, Darren Ingall, receiving the Mayor’s Award in Guildford in 2025.

It goes to show—it’s not all doom and gloom. With the right support, it’s possible to build a fulfilling life, even when others—less resilient—run for cover at the first sign of effort.


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Frequently Asked Questions (Q&A)

Common questions from people facing false allegations or related family/child protection issues. This is not legal advice — always consult a qualified solicitor for your specific situation.

Note: This section is for general information only. Laws and support options can change — verify details and seek professional help tailored to your circumstances. In an emergency, always call 999.



Understanding Why We Act the Way We Do — A Personal Reflection

I am not a doctor, therapist, or mental health professional. What follows is a personal reflection intended to help others think critically about how biology and experience shape emotion and behaviour. It may not be scientifically exact, but it reflects how these processes have made sense of my own experience.

The mind can be understood as the most complex machine imaginable — many orders of magnitude beyond anything we can engineer. Even basic functions such as walking and breathing rely on extraordinarily intricate chemical processes. That these systems operate continuously and largely without conscious input is, in itself, remarkable. The mind functions as a vast chemical memory system, capable of near-instant access, running multiple parallel processes simultaneously.

Most of this activity occurs outside conscious awareness, within the same systems that regulate heartbeat, breathing, and survival responses. Experiences are encoded not only as memories but as chemical patterns. Some experiences create effectively one-way pathways — comparable to electrical diodes — where certain reactions bypass conscious reasoning entirely. These are not malfunctions; they are protective adaptations.

These stored experiences remain active even when they are not consciously recalled. They continuously assess risk and threat. When the right combination of triggers occurs — like opening a safe with millions of possible combinations — the system can release an overwhelming response. When this happens, it can feel like a firework detonating internally, with multiple stress systems activating at once.

Human emotions — fear, panic, dread, calm, pleasure — are fundamentally biochemical. The body releases chemicals in response to perceived stimuli, and those responses are shaped by prior experience. Behaviour is influenced by how often, how intensely, and how predictably these chemical systems are activated.

Alcohol demonstrates this clearly. It is a chemical introduced into the body, yet its psychological effects vary dramatically. Some people become relaxed, others agitated or aggressive. The difference lies not simply in the substance, but in how an individual’s history interacts with it.

Fear operates in much the same way. Darkness, for example, is not inherently threatening, yet it can provoke intense anxiety if it has become associated with danger. Once that association is formed, the body responds automatically by releasing stress chemicals such as adrenaline, often without conscious awareness.

When a child presents as distressed or “troubled,” it is often interpreted in behavioural or moral terms. A more accurate understanding may be that repeated adverse experiences have conditioned the child’s stress chemistry. Certain situations reliably trigger physiological responses that drive behaviour. Most people seek experiences that stimulate chemicals associated with calm, safety, or reward. Depending on experience, individuals may learn adaptive or maladaptive ways of accessing those states.

Adults differ from children only in the length and complexity of their experiential history. The same mechanisms apply.

In my own case, as a child I developed an intense fear of being in a dark room with a mirror after being taught that this would result in something frightening happening. The fear was not abstract or imagined; it was physiological. My body responded with panic before conscious reasoning could intervene.

In adulthood, similar stress responses were reactivated in new contexts. Being near a school triggered acute anxiety linked to earlier experiences. Being ignored by staff escalated that response. The subsequent involvement of a social worker intensified it further.

The use of the word “abuse”, applied in a way that appeared to implicate me in relation to my son, was a significant escalation. That single term carried immediate and severe implications, activating threat responses well beyond the specific interaction in which it was used.

Shortly afterward, I was told that individuals further up the organisational hierarchy were discussing the possibility that my son should be taken into care — despite having never met him. This was the point at which the system effectively overloaded. That information acted as the final combination in the lock. The internal response was not linear or measured; it was explosive. Multiple stress responses activated simultaneously, like a firework.

At the same time, my wife’s affair introduced an additional destabilising stressor. All of these events occurred within a short time frame. Communication broke down, and both my son and I lost our primary support.

From a physiological perspective, stress-related chemical systems were being repeatedly activated without recovery. Eventually, regulatory capacity was exceeded, and the system shut down. This was not a conscious decision, nor a failure of character. It was the predictable outcome of sustained, unrelieved stress activation.

This framework does not excuse harm or deny responsibility, but it does offer a more accurate explanation of human behaviour under extreme pressure. Understanding these mechanisms may help explain why reactions sometimes appear disproportionate, and why support, timing, and context matter far more than is often acknowledged.




Falsely Accused? Start Here

If you have just been accused of abusing your child and you know it isn’t true, you are likely in shock, can think of nothing else, question your every action and how others see you and your maybe unsure what to do next. It might be you simply can't function, fear social workers. I have been there and at one point I could not even walk in a straight line. Wife bolted and I could only find doom and gloom stories on the internet, no help. I designed this site to maybe help others.

These steps outline practical things you can do to protect yourself, your child and navigate the system calmly.

First: Slow Down, take a breath, don't panic, nobody has died!

Immediate Priorities, today now!


Common Mistakes to Avoid


Protect Yourself Practically

This is not legal advice — it is based on my own lived experience. Child protection matters, but the system can make mistakes. Your behavior during the process matters more than your anger about it.

Help, Legal Advice & Support Resources

If you are facing false allegations of child abuse, it is important to seek professional advice and support as early as possible,
🟡 My view: Based on my experience, it felt as though some professionals assumed guilt.
⚠️ Note: Every system, authority, and individual worker is different. Some professionals are empathetic and balanced — don’t assume guilt as fact. The organisations below provide legal guidance, emotional support, or practical help.

Note: This website does not provide legal advice. Laws and procedures vary by country. Always consult a qualified professional.

UK – Legal Advice & Helplines

Here are some additional UK helplines for immediate support if you're concerned about a child's welfare or in emotional distress:

Maintained by Darren Ingall | Questions, stories, or feedback welcome: webmaster@childadvocacy.info

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